How To Cook Bacon With An M-16

Have you ever been on the range and got a hankering for some bacon, but you left your portable grill in the truck and all you have is a trusty M-16? Come on, we've all been there! Well, it turns out you can very easily learn how to cook bacon with an M-16. And, well, it seems like Dustin Ellermann is America's new hero…and a pig's greatest enemy. He's proving that you can shoot guns and cook bacon at the same time. And to quote our new favorite chef while he watches himself partake in this new-found cooking glory:
“…So much America right now!”
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It's as simple as slapping some fatty bacon around the barrel of your M-16, wrapping it in some foil and emptying  a few magazines. You wouldn't see anyone try this with tofu, would you? Actually, if you see anyone trying anything with tofu, just walk away.
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Something like this is perfect for the shooter who doesn't like to make breakfast on their way to the ranch.  He's cooking bacon on a Gemtech TREK 5.56mm suppressor heated by firing 90-ish rounds of wolf 223 on a registered pre-86 M16 lower. The next step is going to be figuring out how the hell to do eggs with this method. Or maybe we just wrap an entire chicken around the damn thing.
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If you like your bacon extra crispy, just fire off a few more rounds or leave it on there a little longer. You can actually hear the bacon sizzling. This is giving us some ideas for a whole new line of fast-food joints-meet-firing-range. We'll call it: AAAAAAAAAAAARBY'S!
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His face is priceless. It says everything. This is quite possibly the coolest way to cook bacon. If you can think of a better way, we'd love to hear it.
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Check out the video:


4 Responses to :
How To Cook Bacon With An M-16

  1. oaking says:

    My M-16 didn’t have a muzzle that looked like that

  2. ny2223jv says:

    seems like a waste of ammo

    1. cactusbob says:

      Not only a huge waste of ammo, but how many hungry guys end up at the range with a package of bacon and some aluminum foil?

  3. Robert says:

    My “other” suggestion for cooking bacon would involve too much plutonium….. Guess we won’t go there!

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